9/11

 

9/11

Yes, it was a long time ago.

Yes, terrorism like that has not to this date been seen again.

Yes, an entire generation has grown up without knowing what it was like to witness it.

That does not negate its importance in the events that followed, nor in the events to come. The attack on the twin towers was a massive turning point in our shared history. September 11th remains the reason civilization has the feelings and beliefs it has regarding Islamist extremism. Perpetration of evil at that magnitude, where thousands of lives are destroyed in a veritable instant, lives on through recorded history, and affects its passage.

If America passes away like parchment in a fire, and the human race moves on into a deep unknown future her history texts will remember America, and they will remember a few specific things: that it won its independence from the greatest empire of its day, that it had a civil war, that the civil war begat extreme differences within its society, that it fought in two great wars that affected the destiny of the world, that it was attacked viciously by a foreign entity bent on its destruction on 9/11, and that its end was ultimately spelled by overspending, wars abroad, division from within, and corruption from on high.

Et voila, history repeats itself.

Does that make September the 11th any less meaningful? Absolutely not. 

The place and time for these tragedies is different, but the purpose remains the same.

The burning of Rome sent madness throughout society and made them deeply prejudiced of the Christians. The burning of the Reichstagh sent waves of fear throughout Germany securing Hitler's short reign as supreme dictator. The purge in Russia rewrote Soviet history, spreading fear and paranoia through Russia, and Stalin's dictatorship was assured, as was the totalitarian government from there until now. Putin is just as much a thug and murderer as any of them. 

The Cultural Revolution drove all rebellion and feelings of retribution from the Chinese citizens, and secured Mao as Chairman of the Communist government, and secured his vision to remake Chinese culture.

A fearful people are exponentially easier to control.

It has been 19 years today since the twin towers fell. I walked into work this morning and looked at the 60" flatscreen hanging on the wall.

And there they were.

The two great, boxlike structures that used to dominate the Manhattan skyline. I paused and lingered on the screen. Something like sorrow and nostalgia entered my heart. It was like seeing the living, breathing image of someone familiar who had passed away. You never get over it. You simply learn to live with the loss.

I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that day in 2001. I woke up with no dread, nor the sense that something was wrong. We were enjoying the feeling of encroaching Fall. 

My companion and I had a regular morning. We rose on time, had scripture study, companionship study, ate, and got ready for the day. We had interviews with our Mission President, President Michael C. Cannon of the Kentucky Louisville Mission later that afternoon.

It was something to look forward to.

But first we had a 9:15 AM appointment in a nearby town. Elder Bostrom was 20, and I would be 22 in a month. Two oblivious young men, fresh out of their teens, having the most interesting life experience they had ever had drove to the appointment, got out of the car, glanced inside the open front door on the television screen saw two smoking craters and a screaming red headline.

We had missed the attack, and the collapse. But we were there for the aftermath. Confused and deeply concerned we were let into the home.

"What ... happened??" I asked.

Our investigator Pamela, for "investigator" is what we called persons interested in the church, said something about the World Trade Centers being attacked, and I had a flashback to 1993. The FBI in cahoots with a high ranking Egyptian soldier attempted to blow out the foundation of one of the buildings.

Shocked, to say the least. They kept panning back and forth between the Pentagon, and the craters. They replayed the footage of the attack on the Towers. They showed the collapse.

Every image was unbelievable.

The footage was absolutely unreal.

Watching those enormous, magnificent buildings crumble like so much dry earth was devastating to behold.

"This was Osama bin Laden." I said. I know I mispronounced his first name as Oksama.

"What?" asked Elder Bostrom.

"Osama bin Laden." I answered, "He's the only one with the resources to pull something like this off."

Neither Pamela, nor Elder Bostrom had ever heard of him. But the world would know who he was just a few hours later. We left her home soon thereafter. I do not remember the conversation Elder Bostrom and I had, or if we drove in silence. to pick up the other Elders for interviews.

We arrived in Salem, Indiana within 30 minutes to pick up the other Elders for interviews. The air, or maybe just the feelings in my own heart and gut were of fear, panic, disgust, devastation and above all - shock. We were all so deeply impacted it would prove detrimental to our efforts in the coming months.

Imagine trying to live a righteous lifestyle, driven by love for your fellow man and genuine concern for their eternal welfare. Then imagine being witness to one of the grossest acts of evil in the history of mankind. The contrast was what ultimately destroyed us.

Here was Lucifer in all his darkness and glory spitting in the faces of we mere mortals, and flexing the muscles of his influence on the world. The adversary, the enemy, the fallen, influencing mankind to commit gross evil from behind the scenes for millennia. Our efforts seemed minuscule, and quite frankly pointless in contrast. The opposite is true, but what a day for Satan.

We tried not to buy into the panic. There was a line twenty cars long to the gas pump, and we had to weigh in our naive young minds the consequences of ignoring the mania. In the end we decided to err on the side of caution, and waited in line for fuel.

An hour later we were in New Albany, greeting our fellow missionaries in shock and dread, the spirit completely squashed out of us. President Cannon, who always had a sharp smile and glowing compassion in his striking blue eyes looked trapped, confused and concerned. When it was my turn to interview with him I asked him right out, "What is going on?" hoping for some prophetic answer, or some semblance of sense.

I do not remember his answer. It did not match my extremely high expectations, and amounted to a very honest and helpless "I don't know."

You could see the worry and angst in every Elder's eyes. Something tremendous had just upended reality, and all of us were traumatized. I would later identify the cause of our lackluster performance in the months following September 11th as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was epidemic all across not just The United States, but across the world, and unfortunately across the Kentucky Louisville Mission.

Optimistic by nature we missionaries tried to find the sliver lining in this horrifying mass murder. In the scriptural world God would warn the population of the destruction to come should they continue in their wicked ways. The people would either repent in sackcloth and ashes, or they would dismiss and even murder the prophets and continue on in their wickedness.

The only thing that would bring the people around to remember the Lord their God, and be humbled was when the promised destruction befell them. What The Book of Mormon reveals about this kind of incident is not that God smites his people for their wickedness, although that has happened. He rather withdraws his protection from the people, allowing destruction to come upon them. The same  destruction that had been held back due to their obedience. The nature of God and religion makes a great deal of sense if you are able to dig up these valuable little nuggets; intricacies and observations.

On 9/11 we saw destruction befall our people. The silver lining we hoped for was that people would be humble, and more willing to accept the gospel that we had to teach. 

Initially they reacted well. They were sad, united, and deeply patriotic.

But they did not react with humility. Nor did they remember their God.

They became fearful and angry. They wanted revenge. Later many of us had friends and family join the military to go to war. As the days progressed it became obvious that nearly everyone I met or knew was only one or two degrees away from a victim of the attacks. That woke me up to the continued devastating impact the attack had on the people.

I had an affinity for latching myself to tragic events. They were the things that were most real to me. They brought home the reality that I was not living in a movie, and that the world as I understood it was different from my own perceptions. I clung on to September 11th as a moment of patriotic fervor, and as a tragedy that united We The People. 

As I learned more about the events of that day my veritable rose colored glasses faded away. I love my country, and to witness it thus betrayed made my spirit sick. I wondered what other delusions I had entertained, and dedicated too much energy and time to their revealing.

In the end I learned to observe 9/11 by remembering the 12th of September, 2001. The day we stood united in a sense of common decency that had been obliterated before our eyes. The day we did not identify by our tiny, insignificant differences. The day we stood up from the ashen fallout of so much death and fear, looked defiantly at those who would have us divide and destroy ourselves and shouted with ONE accord: We are Americans! An attack on one is an attack on all! We are the light of the world, and we will not hide, we will not cower, and we will not fear!

When we lived up to that declaration - that became my celebration.

Where Has Justin Been?

Where?

Through a veritable hell.

For me 2016 was the most up and the most down year of my life. Two years ago this month I was let go from my first managerial position before my 90 day probation was up. The hit to my pride, and the brutal break in my stride led to a series of poor decisions that left me and my family without our own home to live in.

After of month of failed job searches we decided to contact our boys from the DK again, and see if they had a motel I could run. After a mere five days I was good to go on one of their newest acquisitions in Pocatello. Without saving anyone's feeling the place was a dump, and the house, although spacious and well built, had been so badly treated and so disturbingly polluted by the previous manager that my wife lasted two days before she told me to pack it up, and go a different direction.

The problem was that we had moved out of our home to come to this motel. You can imagine the moment of realization that my own personal nightmare had become reality. I would be camping out on someone's floor with three kids and a baby, and the recovery would be long and arduous. I was vastly overwhelmed, and trying to hold an optimistic outlook.

Definitely not easy.

After another couple of weeks of failed interviews and conflict within myself my wife Rachel and I decided that Idaho just was not going to deliver our much needed living. We decided to start hunting in Utah. After only a few applications and about five interviews, three with the same company, I was offered a position with Bluehost in Orem.

My homelessness was six weeks old, and on its way out. Rachel, who is phenomenal with finances and making every dollar count managed to take two paychecks and the little bit of savings we had left and begin shopping a home. What usually turns out to be an easy thing ended up presenting a challenge.

Housing in the Salt Lake and Utah Valleys is in extremely high demand, and due to months of no worthy income well ... the credit score got slaughtered. That's right, a few weeks.

We were the most fortunate couple in the city that week when we found Lee, who owned one of the condos in our area. Hr not only rented it out to us within a day, but rented it to us for $300 less than those around us have been paying.

We had a home again after four months without.

I continued to work for Bluehost, and advanced in skill and technical knowledge. I even built my own blogs with my free hosting account and had a blast writing and designing it using WordPress. I advanced from Sales over First Tier Tech to Web Adviser and was there until a fateful day in January 2017.

On that day the entire building was emptied and taken to a townhall meeting in a different building where we were simply told, "Thank all of you for your hard work in making this company succeed. We are moving operations to Tempe. The layoffs will begin in March."

In an instant my future was once again jobless.

I immediately jumped in to the job search. Well ... I waited a day so I could process the fact that I had no security with Bluehost. I think the worst thing about the layoff was that they completely terminated our jobs. Those who wanted to continue to work for Bluehost in Tempe were invited to reapply. A minimal amount of those who did were hired. Actually, only one person I know of.

I began filling out applications between calls, but could see none of them through. I spoke with my Supervisor, and asked what she was going to do. She mentioned that Wayfair.com was hiring, they had a great starting wage, and they were at the next building South across the street.

I thought I would start there. On Sunday I let my church congregation know what had happened. After the first block I was approached by a couple of brethren who were happy to refer me to their firms. It did not work out.

Wayfair did.

I left Bluehost on the 23rd of March, and started Wayfair on the 27th. Going from tech support to customer support, particularly given Wayfair's ever-evolving model of service, was one of the toughest transitions I had made in a career. I was used to asking directly for the problem, working through it, and closing the call. That was how Bluehost did it.

Wayfair values assurance, empathy, small talk, and relationship building within every communication with their customers. These are skills I am exponentially better at, and still working on. I trained as a Sales and Service Consultant, or SSC. Within a couple of months I was an SSC level II. A few months later I was an SSC III. Each of these promotions of course comes with a pay raise. Finally I am making a transition in April to the Case Management Team. It has all the previous responsibilities except staying in queue on the phones every hour, and 50% more.

Over the years I have meditated on why it was Wayfair that provided my best, and blessed opportunity, and why I was not accepted with numerous other businesses and firms. Conclusively I determined that the Lord knew this was an environment where I could flourish, be nourished by a success oriented corporate culture, and experience promotions for the first time in my life.

Would I have known where I would end up with such a great company, and be able to experience not only promotions, even multiple promotions within a year of starting, but retain excellent status and am on a continual ride upwards - would I have known that, in retrospect, I would have chosen to go through my own personal hell. Would I have known that I would finally make decent money, and support my family. Yes I would have chosen to go through it.

Just because I like progressing. I do not like paying for it. But I understand why the payment can be heavy.

On January 15th ArtCo had a layoff. Two weeks later they had another. Being the newest hire, I was destined to be a part of the layoffs. They gave me a severance, and a thank you, and my full-time job was finished. I still had my pizza delivery job with Papa John's (visit my LinkedIn profile). It was difficult, but fortunately I had begun with Papa John's just weeks previously.

I still had a part-time job. I have since interviewed with a few places, but am encountering the same issues - I seem to be inadvertently applying to positions that the company does not think I would be truly interested in doing.

A.) Wrong. I enjoy working, focusing on work, and learning everything to become better at that work. B.) I'm 35, I have four kids, and a stay-at-home wife. That's called incentive to have a stable, reliable, valuable employee. C.) Conclusively, I would be your best hiring decision.

So hire me. Let me work for you. From my perspective it's time for the change necessary to have a stable, full-time position with a great company from here until the day I retire.

Bring me on.

The Rut

Artwork by 731, Bloomberg Businessweek

Having a good education is not all that is required to land a good position. Nor it seems, is experience. While my degrees have resulted in more call backs, interviews, and job offers than at any other time in my life, I am not positioned well (geographically) to secure a good paying job in any reasonable amount of time.

I was lucky enough, however, to land a job soon after arriving back in Rexburg. ArtCo, which has been a community fixture for a few decades, hired me first as a temp in B2B sales of their Holiday card division, then hired me permanently a couple of weeks later. I guess they didn't want to lose me. I was leaving for interviews every other day to find a permanent job. With that little bit of security I began the search for a second "joe-job" to cover the additional costs of living with rent, utilities, and Internet. The motel provided all those costs.

I had several prospects but ended up settling on a delivery driver position with the brand-new Papa John's pizza place just a couple blocks from home. Wage plus tips. Can't beat that, but you sure can beat the hours of a full-time job combined with a part-time gig. This week alone I'll be putting in 63 hours, and I will still fall short of making $2500 per month.

I will continue in this vein with hope for the future as I have been doing since August, that something better will arise.

It is difficult to imagine for a ridiculous amount of people the fact that I and my family of five are living on wages like these. Worse still that an MBA with an excellent GPA is doing telesales and delivering pizzas. But this is the new economy. Networking, certifying, and looking for better positions can literally be a full-time job. People are slow to accept any change, which is a slippery position given this world of continual, and radical evolution. It is my confident prediction that my generation will experience less retirees than any previous generation in America. In other words a large percentage of us will work until we die.

In a recent article by Businessweek it said that 44 percent of graduates in America are underemployed. By the way; those 44 percent do not work full time hours. If you work full time you aren't counted because there is no way for the government to know that you are underemployed.

(From the article): Mario Mendoza says he works as many as 70 hours a week driving a taxi in Miami. The 34-year-old has a bachelor’s in sociology and anthropology and a master’s in global sociocultural studies from Florida International University. He says finding an entry-level job where he could do social or market research would put his driving days behind him. “I’ve applied for many of those jobs. I just haven’t been called up for the position,” Mendoza says. “If you spend so many years in school preparing yourself and studying, you want to use those skills to work, not do something like be a waiter or drive a cab or work at Starbucks.”

I cannot empathize more. But I am not going to whine about it - I am in a city where the only application of a Master's degree is either at BYU-Idaho as a member of the faculty or administration, the government, or Idaho National Labs. Rexburg is a closed economy that rises and falls with the student population so it has a myriad of positions; none of which pay over $10 per hour. I am lucky to be where I am, but I am still looking for something much better.

Anxiously Engaged

 

"You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them." - Michael Jordan

This will be the single most important post I make on this blog, because within it I will share how I have finally achieved what I set out to do here at the TJ Motel. First let me share what working with Paul's Paint has taught me. Then I will apply it to my care, as steward and General Manager, of the TJ Motel.

For five weeks I rose at 5:15 AM, went to work at 6:00, worked non-stop from then until 11:30 where we had our 30 minute lunch, and then proceeded to labor from 12:00 to 3:30, 4:00, and even 5:00. In the hours of labor we did not take breaks. Paul's wage per hour was so substantial that my desire to be that valuable kept me moving a solid 8 to 10 hours per day.

I sweat, I grew strong, I formed new work habits, and I lost weight. And in those five weeks I did not once think of quitting. I was anxiously engaged in the work. I could visibly see the results of my labor. I could determine how much quality to put into the work.

I became faster, more efficient, and finally learned how to communicate effectively with laborers within the construction zone. I did not get in trouble, nor did I inspire a new policy. I was there to do a job, and earn my keep, and that is exactly what I did. Those five weeks with Paul taught me to appreciate the work for the work, and become engaged in doing it well.

When the work became sparse two weeks ago I was back at the TJ full time. Being gone eight to ten hours per day for five weeks let some projects stack up, and for the first two days I had a hard time being the General Manager again.

But I was not discouraged. I knew that if I kept moving, like I did with Paul's Paint, that I would get on top of the job.

And So I Did

As I began putting tasks to rest, catching up on what needed doing I became suddenly, and anxiously engaged in my work. Visibly the quality of the motel improved. The feeling changed in the atmosphere from 'just getting by' to 'this is the place to be.' I had taken my lessons from Paul's Paint and applied them to the TJ.

In other words I was at work to work, and I was at work for the work. My confidence surged as I began to understand what seemed simple to so many others; be there to do the job, do not define yourself or your happiness by it. Rather glean your satisfaction and happiness from your labor. I am confident that I can take any position, work it until I master it, and be happy working. Just working.

There Is A Lie Out There

There is a lie that says you will not be happy unless you are doing something you love. I disagree. I think the job is what you make it. I think you get out of it what you put in. If you put in 80 percent negativity, to 20 percent positive experiences, you are going to hate your job. That's the truth to the lie. The lie is an ill defined assumption.

I have altered my perception of doing what I love, by putting love into what I am doing. I have achieved a higher level of excellence here than I ever thought I could achieve doing a job I was less than thrilled about. I am anxiously engaged in making this business what I want it to be.

Stress And Mistakes

Over the last two years I developed a tick above my right eye if things became too stressful. My right eyebrow would pulse just at the corner of my eye. Thub thub. Thub thub. My tick is gone. I can handle stress and pressure like I've never been able to before.

When I made a mistake in the past it mortified me. It was embarrassing. It caused me stress. I must have had more cortisol in my system than a second-rate professional athlete in the first 13 months here at the TJ. Now I handle mistakes, and confrontation with ease and grace. The veritable school of hard knocks has taught its lessons well, and I am learned.

Most Important

It is true for me to say that some have found my posts a little disconcerting. I have laid bare my mistakes, spoken and unspoken. I have revealed my weaknesses and strengths. I have been open and honest about where I was, what I have learned, and where I am. So let me ask you this; if a politician can come clean about his bad habits - alcoholism, adultery, drug addiction, poor financial discipline, dishonesty, desertion, and draft-dodging - and get elected to offices of leadership within the halls of government, then why shouldn't I be honest about who I am, what I have learned, where I was, and where I have arrived?

It is better that I should learn these invaluable lessons here at the TJ than in my new position wherever it may be.

For Hire

My feelings are that I have grown as much as I can, and it is time to hang this job up and leave. We are going to the Sugar City area in Idaho where I will continue to blog about my work, and career experiences in my new position. If you want a great, well-educated candidate with strong managerial experience, sales skills, and superior customer service skills please check out my personal resume blog at tjustinhaxby.blogspot.com.

Stay tuned!

Have I Grown?

I was presented with a profitable opportunity I could not pass up. Out here in Thames we are 20 minutes from a large research facility owned and operated by the government, and her military. They are constantly tearing down and building on site, and they have a large project wrapping up that will aid in the decommissioning of . . . well. Let's just say it's a necessary facility.

Paul's Paint has stayed with me for over a year, several different guys, on and off through the months. As they wind down their massive painting job I noticed a trend - they would hire a new guy, two weeks later (one time two days later) the new hire would quit. I could tell it was getting on their nerves so I volunteered.

"I'll work for ya!" I said one evening to the boss man. He seemed taken aback, but intrigued. The next week I was offered a temporary job at a substantial wage. It's double the highest wage I've earned. I talked it over with my wife. She was reluctant because it would mean she would be responsible for the motel, and the three kids, the house, the guests, and everything while I was gone.

She decided in favor provided I get permission from ownership. They allotted me two weeks to work with Paul's Paint.

It wasn't two days before things came to a head at the motel. We started experiencing problems with the maids - inconsistencies in their work. The grounds seemed to get away from me. Maintenance issues stacked up, and I was missing my routine. Tomorrow I begin week three, with only three days to work before Paul goes back home for a long weekend (the man was nearly smashed to death in a collision with a semi a few months back, so he has a lot of doctor appointments).

I put in an hour or two every evening to get things caught up even though this painting job takes it out of me. The painting I'm doing is in a huge facility where the only path to the top decks is 106 stairs. Yeah. I'll climb those at least four times per day. Everything else is labor intensive, whether I'm wrapping lights and fixtures, or on my knees cutting in edges on staircases and decks. I get up at 5, and am at work by 6:30. Fortunately security on site is a stickler for emptying the base of civilians by 4 PM, and we are 10 miles from the nearest exit.

But we move move move during shift. The only break is lunch.

I have learned what it is to be away from the TJ Motel for several hours per day, and what it feels like to be in work mode from before dusk to well after the sun has set. When you are exhausted, and the door is chiming every twenty minutes it's easy to get aggravated. Why? Because in my exhausted state, after a long day of painting I am at home giving attention to the kids, helping with dinner, doing dishes, taking out trash, running some errands, catching up on the work at the motel, checking in guests, attending to their needs, and changing diapers. I rarely sit down for more than five minutes until bedtime. I'm tired.

I have learned that my attitude has changed dramatically. I work this job for Paul, and I find myself immersed in the work. The time goes by as it should, but all that matters is the task at hand. I am no longer resentful. I no longer have feelings of entitlement. I am at peace with my labor, the environment, the people, the insane hours, and the situation. I am grateful for the opportunity.

With that realization I wondered; do I like to paint? Or have I truly grown? Could I really accept a job, any job, and have the same attitude? I believe I can. I believe I have achieved that skill set. I have also noticed that home remains at home, and I am at work to work.

I wondered when I would finally develop that skill. Now I know I have it. This whole experience has built confidence, helped immensely with our financial situation, given me new experiences, and taught me a great deal. Even my marriage has become renewed, as this situation has helped my wife and I learn more about each other.

All I took the job for was extra cash, but I have come out the other end with realizations that I am reaching my potential, leaving my past behind me, and growing as a worker, and professional. Taking a step back I am able to see the benefits, and able to revamp my policies and practices at the TJ Motel to make her an even better oiled machine.

Getting It Together

A big fear we face as managers is being unable to effectively lead our people. Our employees represent the business. They are the face of the enterprise, whatever it may be. And if they are not tightly knit, share a core of values and standards, and respect you as a person, and manager then you will not get the results you want.

So How Do I Do It?

I care. I sincerely give a smeg. That does not mean I get involved in their personal lives. But if they have concerns, and sometimes you have to coax it out of them, then I honestly have a place in my heart and mind for their concerns to be heard, and acted upon to the extent of my authority.

We hold meetings once or twice per month to realign ourselves with the values of the business, and with the expectations that we share. At these meetings I go over pertinent items like encouraging my staff to take ownership, communicate with me, pay attention to my orders and execute them with precision. Then I come back with some follow up on what they expect from me.

Expect From Me?

That's right. They expect things from me. And I comply. Our March meeting revealed that I had been missing things from stripping the rooms. I was missing bits of garbage, and more specifically - used soaps. For the last three weeks I have been focusing on getting all used soap out of the room to let my staff know that I respect their desires, and want their experiences here to be positive. Few things are more rankling than a "know-it-all" boss who knows nothing, and does not care to know anything.

That creates a hostile, unfriendly, and contentious work environment. If that were the environment here at the TJ I would be through my eighth set of maids rather than still employing my first.

Leadership Style

I believe success lies in doing your best. You honestly cannot exceed your best, but your best can be improved by continually exercising your . . . well . . . best. These phrases continually run through my mind; "Action speaks louder than words" and "Lead by example."

Great. Strong words. What do they mean? Do you have to outwork your employees? Show them who's boss? Sure, but only if you want to retire early and go on disability. Rather be who you want your employees to be, and respectfully show them how to get there. Do not be afraid to be the hypocrite, so long as you fake it UNTIL you make it. Once you've made it you will be able to look back and realize you actually did what was necessary to change.

The most difficult thing about leading by example is showing patience in the face of genuine ignorance.

Communicate!

This cannot be stressed enough. Your common sense, your thoughts, and your way of doing things are not instantly communicable to your employees. Worse still, when you tell them your thoughts and your way of doing things those words often get lost within the first day. They clock in the next day and get back into the routine. If you really want to shake them up be consistent, like a kindergarten school teacher who has to tell their kids several times daily what sound 'A' makes.

It's how we learn. Repetition, and clear communication creates new knowledge, and new ways of doing things. If you follow your telling with a hefty amount of showing, they are sure to remember it eventually!

Be A Friendly Professional

Be approachable. Be disarming. Smile a lot, and make sure that smile reaches your eyes. If it's on your lips, but not in your eyes there is something reptilian about that smile that will instigate fear, and inspire avoidance. Don't let that happen to you. One of the greatest things you can do as a manager is grow, and challenge yourself.

Think of this; you are in a stressful situation, like you are every day, only slightly worse. Now instead of getting worked up take a moment to breathe, and then challenge yourself. This is a great way to grow. Challenge yourself to react differently. Challenge yourself to complete the task or tasks better than you've done before. Not only will you get more growth out of it, but you will achieve that rare, and enviable feeling of self-confidence!

The more hard things you can do, and do well, the more confidence you will achieve. It's a great way to move up, and move on with your career, and inspire people along the way.

After All . . .

In the end it isn't so much about how much money you made, it's about the lives you touched. It's about the businesses you made better. It's about the customer, and the employee. It's about you and your growth. And the best way to grow is to serve. Serve with your mind, serve with your heart, and serve with your energy and you will experience more satisfaction than you ever have at your job. Do the hard things. Learn to enjoy them. The fruits you wield can only get better, and you can only grow more.

Do it!

The Rare, Unfortunate, Reputation Harming Incident

Well . . . What are you going to do?

We will create an incident, and review the proper steps for responding to it - steps that will save the face of your business, and communicate to the community at large that you have acknowledged it, and done something about it.

Scenario

A young woman checks into your motel late in the night. It is obvious she has been in the cold long enough for her to have brought it in with her. She wants a room for one night, pays with cash, has no ID, and informs you that she and her husband are on the outs. It is obvious that she has been drinking, and may or may not be stoned. Concerned for her safety you place her in a room with two beds for the simple fact that the room is situated between two other rooms occupied by burly men. These burly men would not have a problem reporting an issue should the husband come to find his wayward bride.

The next day she is gone. She has left behind a Tequila bottle, a bin full of wadded up toilet paper, (no blood), and nothing else. She has barely slept in her bed. The other bed in the room is undisturbed, the blinds over the windows are closed, and the curtains drawn. The manager strips the room and finds nothing suspicious. The maid follows with the same result.

Two nights later the room is rented out again.

Let the nightmare begin.

The guest's helpless little granddaughter happens across a pouch full of used hypodermic needles, very soon after a cup crammed with yet more hypodermics has fallen from behind the blind and curtains on to the bathroom floor. Management, i.e. you are called by the guest and told about the situation.

Response Proper

Step 1: get in gear, and get in there. Gather the paraphernalia if it is out for the world to see, and get the whole story. Step 2: if you do not already have it, get the guest's phone number, and home address for ownership follow up. Step 3: ask the guest if they want to involve law enforcement, and if they do, you make the call. Step 4: get them the blazes out of that room and into another. If you are out of rooms, phone other hotels until you get them a reservation elsewhere. Step 5a: treat the transaction accordingly. Step 5b: inform ownership of what has happened, and keep them in the loop on what else is happening either with law enforcement, or with the way you are handling things. (Step 3, and step 4 are interchangeable.)

Warning: if law enforcement becomes involved know that your business, particularly if it is in a small town, will take a hit in the reputation. The reason is obvious - how did you miss not one, but two stashes of hypodermic needles in the room?

Answer

They were missed because of the maid's cleaning routine, which is established by company policy whose responsibility lies with the manager, and ownership. The pouch was hidden under the pillow of the unused bed. Upon inspection the bed looked undisturbed, unused, untouched. There was no reason to suspect that a pouch full of hypodermic needles was hidden under the pillow therein.

The blind was drawn, and the curtains closed in the bathroom window. Something every maid does themselves before leaving the room. There was no reason to suspect that a guest had hidden that paraphernalia in the window sill. 

Business Response

Something needs to change to avoid this scenario in the future. That change resides within the policies exercised, and honored by the housekeepers. The response is to search the room before cleaning it. Every nook, cranny, drawer, window sill, shelf, bed, and cabinet must be inspected. 

An adaptation has to be made quickly, and in full witness of the parties involved. The officer, if she has come to the business, needs to be informed. And ownership needs to know you are being proactive, and making good decisions.

If the incident has caused a stir in the community, the community needs to understand that measures are being taken, and an appropriate response is being enforced. Send a letter to the Editor of your local paper, or attend a Chamber meeting. These acts will help. But your ultimate penance is going to be talking individually with your friends and colleagues in the community; the other business owners and managers, and letting them know that a response has been implemented, and the incident is an anomaly. There are few worse things than being perceived as a motel that caters to junkies.

The Wrong Thing To Do

There are many wrong things you can do as well. Ignore it. Don't address it. Be embarrassed by it. Let it get buried in the layers of time. Let it confound you, and ultimately ruin your day. Place yourself in the position of being a victim of happenstance. Don't let it be a learning opportunity; let it be another reason to complain. Don't let it be an opportunity to practice your public relations skills, try to sweep it under a rug. Treat it like it never happened. Do nothing.

This will ensure that your reputation will not only remain harmed, but continue to degrade as the months pass.

Ultimately . . .

It is safer just to take the advice of this article before anything bad happens. Ultimately the phrase, "better safe than sorry" is worth more to a business than profits, growth, or popularity. But if it is your unfortunate opportunity to experience something like this, know that taking the right steps in response to it will ultimately prove positive. People are impressed when you acknowledge your wrong quickly, take steps to ensure that it will never happen again, and outwardly let them know that you are actively changing things.

Feel free, however, in the moment to do what Jack does below and be flabbergasted by the carelessness, audacity, selfishness, and recklessness of your fellow man, and then get busy making it better.

Take Ownership

'Taking ownership' is a concept barely understood by employees, and an employee trait coveted by owners and managers. To put it simply "taking ownership" means treating the business as if it were your own, as if your money, your investment were riding on the success of the enterprise. I first learned of this principle when I was caught removing merchandise from the shelves of a small c-store, washing the shelves, and returning the merchandise. The owner walked in while I was doing this, and he was thrilled.

My impulse had come from a desire to impress the boss. What it resulted in was the concept of taking ownership. I was acting as if the place were mine. I was then able to shape the environment to fit my high expectations of cleanliness, and presentability. I acted as if the revenue that kept the business running were my responsibility, and pertinent to my survival. Conversely, it is.

The bathrooms were cleaned according to my high expectations. People showed up to work on time, or they did not show up again. The kitchen ran efficiently from 3:00 AM to 10:00 AM for breakfasts, and from 10:30 AM to 7:00 PM for lunch/dinner items, and breakfast prep. I ran controls for the cash registers by assigning one cashier to one drawer, rather than sharing drawers. When the deposit at the end of the night was perfectly square, and substantial, I was satisfied.

The only thing that would have made me happier would have been to be able to pay the invoices, pay the lease payment, and be intimate with the books, watching the great machine of business work efficiently with a healthy cash flow.

I found that I performed well when I was in charge. I performed amazingly when I took ownership. I looked forward to the hours I would be spending at work. I wondered what the day would both bring me, and teach me. When I take ownership I am the kind of employee I want to be, and ownership wants me to be.

At the TJ Motel, as you've read previously, I am in charge. This business reflects me, my efforts, and how much ownership I take. Sometimes I take so much ownership of the place that I get embarrassed when ownership actually arrives. They never fail to be pleased.

That is the object and the goal of taking ownership. Happy owners. If you are an employee reading this, let's try a little visualization. Put yourself in your owner's shoes. You have spent $1 million on your new business. If you are like me, $100 seems a substantial investment. Multiply that by 100,000 and you have some idea of the pressure your owner is under. Now understand that you aren't running things. You have trusted someone else to run things. How are your nerves? If they aren't frayed, then you aren't paying attention.

As an owner with big money on the line, you learn quickly (if you don't already know) that an employee who takes ownership of the business is more valuable than twenty employees that don't. You know that you can count on that employee to take excellent, personal care of your investment on every level. They will treat your customers as their own. They will treat your property as their own. They will eliminate redundant systems, cut expenses, lead with authority and confidence, keep the place clean, and care for the image of the business as if it were their own. Now your nerves have calmed, and you can focus your energy on other things. That is an assurance beyond price, and a skill that is invaluable to employers.

That is taking ownership, and it will develop you professionally like few other experiences. It will teach you what it is to have a vehicle for cash flow. It will teach you what it feels like to have property, tools, employees, and immense responsibilities. It will teach you a strong work ethic which is the envy of employers around the world. It will position you to get whatever job you desire, and get you past that first, uncomfortable phone interview in style. "Taking ownership" is only a great idea, and nothing less. Aspire!

Interviews And I

The MBA is complete, the new baby is born, and the next step in life is coming. I'm filling out numerous applications online, networking as well as you can tied to a motel in little Thames, Idaho, and trying hard to interview well when I get the opportunity.

If you are anything like me interviewing is nerve-wracking. The interviewer is throwing questions at you, questions that use phrasing like, "Tell me about a time when . . ." followed by any number of topics - customers, supervisors, ownership, challenges. The truth is I don't interview well. I'll tell you why - I believe in being sincere, and in giving honest answers. If that honest answer includes a stupor of thought, even though it is immensely frustrating, then so be it.

I've read a dozen articles on interviewing skills. Most of them say the same thing. "Anticipate the questions, and prepare a response." I can see the wisdom in that, but I can also see the problem. I appreciate the "me in 30 seconds" statement, and the idea behind it. But reciting something I've written in advance of the question feels false. It feels insincere. I know if I were the interviewer I would want the genuine person answering my questions, not some pre-written, memorized script being recited at me.

On the other end of the spectrum, having something to say that is full of substance and information in answer to those questions would be nice to have on hand. And being that I was the one that wrote and refined those answers, I can state them with passion and sincerity. So where is the line between an actor saying lines, and a person sincerely sharing their experience? Having failed in a few interviews I am becoming converted to preparing my answers in advance of the interview, and committing them to memory.

I recently had an interview that I believe went well. Reflecting on it I made a realization that I think is worth sharing. These questions I answer and ask in return can result in a human connection, rather than a professional, impersonal interrogation. How? By turning the questions into conversation. When I have a positive, semi-intimate experience talking with someone an interesting thing happens - they stay in my memory. They become more than just another face, another interaction.

I am skilled at doing this myself. I am excellent at opening people up. It takes an honest interest in the person, and a smile. Nothing more. People will talk all day long when you talk about them. In the motel business it's a series of questions. "What brings you to Thames?" "What are you going to do here?""Where are you from?" All of these questions can lead into the pitch. I've mentioned previously that the TJ Motel is more of an experience than a motel. It does not have your typical motel rooms. It has rooms that are more akin to cabins, and have more of a homey feel.

Talking with someone, having a conversation with them, can change their perceptions, and give you control of the impression they have of you. Yet the interview always seems to be a Q and A session with the candidate on the hot seat. Although I've been confident of a good interview in the past, there have been some where I did not get a call back, which leads me to find out where it went awry.

Often an interview can go well, but from it the interviewer can discern whether or not the candidate is a good match for the job. In other words you can still be a great person, but you would be an ill fit to this particular position.

I've heard people say they always get the job. There may be some outliers out there where that is fact, but they are few and far between, and know something that the general population does not. The right answers to every question tweaked to the particular employer. A noble aspiration, but one built on talent, I think, rather than possibility.

I appreciate a rejection based on a mismatch, but I cannot help but feel some disappointment. It is my ambition, after all, to be taken seriously and allowed to utilize my talents, education, experience, and leadership in a business setting of my choosing. If you are talking to me, then I want you to be talking to me. If I have applied to your business, then I want to be a part of your business. I understand that wanting is not always qualifying, but I aspire to qualify. If in conversation I can achieve that, then what is the harm in trying?

Where's That Guy?

Getting over past mistakes is a hard road. I made one when I started selling cars. It started before the interview when I returned a phone call from the General Manager and used a line that got me hired on to a previous job. That was an insecurity showing up.

I interviewed the next afternoon, and was honestly excited at the prospect. I wore a suit and maintained a friendly but excited demeanor. After awhile it started to wear on me to the point where I couldn't comprehend much of what was being said. I caught snippets like "long hours . . . see this body? That's from the bad diet . . . but there's plenty of money to be made . . ." And the rest droned on. All I could think about in that chair was smile big, act excited, and get the job!

A couple of years previous a friend of mine told me something I found difficult to believe. He was teaching me about attitude at work, and how he turns on the switch. As a result he was a respected employee, and made better money than the rest of us. With his last words of the conversation he said, "I do this at job interviews, too. And there isn't a job out there I interviewed for, and didn't get."

Well I've had that disappointment, and I cannot quite believe that he was telling the truth. Perhaps he keeps his prospects slim, perhaps he really is that good. Either way I was determined to get this sales job.

Outside the office three men were speaking to each other. The owner, the principle dealer/owner, and a sales guy about to become a finance manager. I learned their names from the General Manager before I left the office, walked confidently up to them, and introduced myself, calling them by name. Big smile. All show.

Do you know what I lacked? Sincerity. I was so afraid that I would have to go back to my barista job that I did whatever I felt needed doing to get that gig. I left with a smile, pardoning the interruption, and walked out smiling all the way into the car, and down the street. I had a good song to help me smile playing over the radio.

I was hired three days later, and started the fourth. It was November 1st, which felt weird enough. The first day at work preceded by Halloween, with Thanksgiving and Christmas in the near future. Immediately I succumbed to intimidation. Until I set foot in a car dealership as a "Sales Consultant" it never mattered that I knew nothing about cars. Now it mattered entirely.

I had never generated a sales list before. Now I was expected to. I was wholly unfamiliar with the car dealership culture and slang. Now it was being shoved down my gullet. Never, as far as I remembered had a job intimidated me into being a mute. My personality faltered. My ego slipped. It wasn't long before I was clashing with the owner, who had a personality who I've never got along with. All this time I was trying to answer that elusive question of how to come to work to work, and leave home at home.

The harder I tried to leave home at home, the more it came with me. I soon became complacent in the dealership environment, and aggressive in my sales. But I was aggressive in the wrong way, repelling customers rather than attracting them. I managed in my final month to cover my salary with enough commissions. I even made a little extra. Things were looking up. Then they laid me off without a reason, or an apology.

In a final conversation I had with the owner he hearkened back to my interview, when I was ballsy enough to go out and introduce myself to him, "Where's that guy?" he asked.

I should have, in that moment, been able to understand what I know now. Throw some sincerity in there and "that guy" as he was called, is 'at work' Justin. He's the focused professional, the ideal candidate, the excellent worker, the one who can leave home at home and come to work to work. In the Motel Experiment I have learned so much about having a job.

Good day, bad day, doesn't matter. You need to don the man that works hard, and well, and let him have the run of the shift. When you work you take on a persona. At the front desk I am the motel manager, wholly at your service, and glad to see you here. After I close the door and walk back into my home I am Justin. The importance of distinction cannot be overstated, particularly when you represent your business.

In Thames I am the guy who runs the TJ Motel, not Justin. I am first and foremost my job, even when I'm out in the city. That has altered my focus and perspective on what it means to go to work to work. Not because of any philosophical tendency, but by the fact that I have no choice. I have specific examples of when I messed with people in the past, was short with them, or openly agitated. A high enough percentage of these interactions had negative consequences, the worst of which were my own feelings about myself.

I learned that you really can't mess with anyone. The ideal thing to do is be professional at all times when working, and when interacting with your customers. Another situation that has taught me this principle of leave home at home is living on site. There are countless times per day when I must instantly shed my home life to help a customer.

Should you ask the customer after our interaction there is a strong possibility that they wouldn't even know the little house in the middle of the lot was my home. They would not know that there were two toddlers, and a wife expecting a baby in December living their lives inside.

What better school is there for "that guy" than living at work - literally. A keen professional knows that it may sound cold not to talk about wife and family at work, but it is necessary. The roles we accept with our job description must be that, and little else. There is little in the way of license and innovation in any business environment when it comes to the individual. With a business that has been around for millennia, the ways of the hospitality biz are well established. The innovation you may utilize come from your problem solving abilities, and methods of changing processes that have no doubt been around for a long time. They just haven't been implemented during your tenure.

"Where's that guy?" He had to make connections utilizing experience, hard learning, and hours of thinking. Then he had to combine them. The phoenix doesn't rise perfectly from the ashes, but he does rise a better animal than he was before. I still have years of learning and refinement to procure. The point is I'm excited about it, and I am always eager to learn from the mistakes. What has changed is the speed with which I learn because I recognize one great truth - you need to learn fast, to progress more.

Who's Looking Over Your Shoulder?

To help myself stay focused, continue to work hard even though my bones ache with exhaustion (it's been a long, hot summer), and keep on going I have adopted a mental mentor.

The mental mentor is a concept I've picked up for lack of a real one. Being in the middle of nowhere in a town of less than 1,000 people based almost solely on agriculture, and some commercial enterprises leaves little in the way of mentors. When ownership comes to the motel I latch onto them, discuss my concerns, and listen carefully to whatever they say. I also probe their ideas, origins, and skills. In spite of all I've learned from them thus far, they are not my mental mentors.

Mine I will keep to myself for a few reasons. A.) The mentor sometimes changes, B.) The current one is not well thought of, and C.) His time served in my mind is an experiment. The more I learn about him, the more I empathize, though to be honest his childhood was marred by tragedy, the loss of a sibling, and then later the loss of another which to him opened up a world of opportunity. I sympathize, but I don't know what it is to lose one so close.

The benefit of having this mentor in my mind is multi-layered. He worked incredibly hard during his life. He was extremely intelligent. He suffered extreme bouts of self-doubt, and never believed that he was worthy of his legacy. In general I think all of us can sympathize with that. This makes him much more human, and more relatable. Flaws generate realism, and this man is remarkably human. He helps me remember a few things.

A.) I am coming from nothing, but it does not matter so long as I B.) continue to work hard, study, and improve myself, and C.) invest my time and energy into the things that I love and enjoy. If I find myself losing focus I think, "What would ____ think?" I know what he would think, because he would let me know what he thought.

The effects of this experiment have been significant. Two days ago I began a bit of a collapse. It begins with questions of doubt, "Who do you think you are? You aren't that intelligent. Why do you aspire to try when you seem so dwarfed by great minds? Look at what you've achieved so far. Nothing notable." This inner monologue, however, soon ceased as I made some personal observations in answer to this melee. Who do I think I am? Who is anyone? They are who they make themselves to be. I am intelligent. I try because I want to be a great mind. Because I have not achieved anything truly noteworthy, I want to. And I aspire to. The tragedy is not to have tried and failed. The tragedy is never trying, and living in regret.

Basic philosophy is taking the place of self-doubt in my life. I know that has come as a result of having someone to look up to. While I don't want to aspire to be him, I do aspire to achieve as he achieved, and learn from his life. For once I want to learn well, rather than learning the hard way.

The Hard Way

While we are on topic, let's talk about what I've learned about learning the hard way. It's quite simple. Learning the hard way requires a few specific elements. Element number 1, don't pay attention to the problem, or its solutions. It won't go away, it will complicate, and it will result in fallout. Once the fallout lifts, you will have learned. Element 2, don't listen to those who have been there, and done that. They are right, but you don't care. You don't respect their advice because you don't respect much of anything, including yourself. And Element 3, don't learn to pay attention, wait for the fallout, and continue not listening to wisdom. If you follow these principles you will continue to learn the hard way for the rest of your life.

Mental Mentor

He is referred to by many ideas. He is someone to look up to, someone to aspire to be like, and someone to exemplify. If you gain a more intimate understanding of who your mental mentor was in life, including reading their own words, and understanding as much as you can about where they came from, and how they got to where they are, then you will have a mental mentor. You will be able to understand how they think, why they think that way, and what they would feel in the moment. "What would ________ think?"

If you have an intimate enough understanding of that person, you would be able to make a fair assumption about what they would think.

This brings up another concern. The man I admire is, in the perspective of the world, far above me. That doesn't bother me. I'm not interested in what titles he attained, or where his career took him. I am interested in the excellence of the person. He could be a legendary Hollywood actor, a reclusive author, an ancient King, or President of the United States. It does not matter. What matters is the kind of person they were, how much respect you have for them, and if you can relate. If you share these things in common, then your mental mentor could be literally anyone.

I aspire to have an actual mentor one day soon. Someone who can, at last, show me the ropes, and share wisdom. But in the meantime I have had to be proactive, and adopt my own. His presence has helped me work harder, smarter, and more effectively. It has helped me stay focused, and have confidence in my abilities.

One of the things I have had problems with is scattered focus. I tend to carry on too much at the same time. What can I say? I want to experience it all, know it all, and understand it all. I will read a dozen books at a time, jumping from one to the next several times in the same day. I will try to stay up on current events from several sources. I will try to run the motel, care for the grounds, manage the maids, do the maintenance while indulging my interests. I am a family man, taking care of, and playing with my boys, showing my wife affection, and striving to be an example of what I want them to be. I am a Master's degree student, I write another blog, and I write for a website actively on the side.

I'm busy. But with my mental mentor keeping me in line my focus has improved. I have been able to multi-task without losing my place. I have been able to be more clear about what I want to do, and who I want to be. With the latter you must determine every instant of every day where you want your choices to lead you. While wasting time on the Facebook home feed, are you neglecting something that would help you get closer to the person you want to be? It's difficult to remember that when your attention is stolen by something amusing, but not really edifying.

Our time here is limited. Make the most of it any way you can. You can't get back yesterday, but you can do whatever you want to with today. Use your idol as a mental mentor, and lock in your destiny. Pretty soon that voice in your head will turn from scorn and derision, to encouragement and affection. You'll learn self-love because you have a companion to yourself. Someone who has been there, and whose wisdom you appreciate.

We all have that inner affectation toward a character we can sympathize with. Don't worry about who it is so long as you listen to your sense.

Graduation

When the summer is slammed and it's the dog days of your season, remember that to stay focused, and continue to work hard through the exhaustion and heat can only result in good things. Character, perseverance, patience, creativity, influence, and above all self-respect. Do it to do it, and you be happy with yourself on the other side.